Well Harry, as I write this message I can hear your voice in my head – 3 key points, Di, think of 3 key messages you want to say.
The first thing is that we loved spending time together – we really properly loved it and we had a lot of fun. We’ve been chased by security guards sneaking into festivals, we’ve got drunk, we’ve danced, we swam in the sea, we went cycling. Not to mention the numerous walks on Hampstead Heath, where we’d have illicit cigarettes as teenagers and then later on in life, we’d go for long walks with your wondering wife Flavia and your dog Zeno. And in fact, we were due to meet last Monday to watch the England/Slovakia game.
I took it very much for granted that you’d always be around, by my side in the family, and that we’d grow old together – had I known this was going to happen I would have treasured our shared moments even more.
Having grown up together, we knew each other very well. We only had to look at each other to know what the other was thinking, both of us with a knowing smile. There was a deep mutual trust between us (as with all of your siblings) of unconditional love and friendship. I rest assured that you died knowing that we loved you so very much.
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My second message, Haz, to stick to your 3 points is a massive thank you. I always knew you had my back and as I went through the different stages of life you were always there with your support and encouragement. There are so many examples, here are a few.
The morning of my French oral you sat with me from 5am going through all possible questions they could ask, with me rabbiting to you in French, you nodding away. When I moved to BCN you came out with me and traipsed up and down the boiling streets looking for somewhere for me to live, not to mention the regular beer breaks to ‘debrief’. You sat with me to write job applications, went with me to meet mortgage advisors, your organised a surprise get together in Highgate for my 30th birthday, and you were my first driving instructor. You were very pleased when I passed a few weeks ago and dismissed the test instructor’s comment of ‘parking’s not your strong point’, with ‘don’t worry about it Di, parking’s not anyone’s strong point.’
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Finally, point number 3, it will never, ever really be goodbye. I have a lot of respect for the way you lived your life and shall try my hardest to incorporate it in the way I live mine.
Your consideration for others to start with, you were always very caring and great communicator. I remember as teenagers, you insisted on always walking on the outside to ‘protect me from the road’. Although I teased you mercilessly about this I found it so endearing.
Your open mindedness and belief that we should follow our hearts and do what we want to do in life, not giving in to unwanted pressures or expectations.
And your marvellous sense of humour which I will really, really miss. You always had a twinkle in your eye and an uncanny ability to make me laugh out loud even in the most dire of circumstances.
So it will never really be goodbye as you will carry on through us and your soon to be born nephew who will know all about you.